Misadventures and Dinners
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Because it's not a Thunder Legion/Strauss sibling outing without Freed embarrassing himself, Laxus and Mira's intimate life being brought into the light, Elfman being banished to the couch, and Bickslow and Lisanna getting drunk. Or Elfman accusing Ever of cheating with Bickslow, the seith's babies causing problems, and Mirajane crying. Seriously, it's just not. - One-shot.


Misadventures and Dinners

"R-Really? You trust me that much?"

"Of course, Lissy," Bickslow said as he went around the room, getting ready for his night out. "What's a relationship without trust?"

At the moment, they were both over at his apartment, her standing in the man's bedroom as she watched him prepare his usual getup, cape, visor, Mohawk, and all. It took him longer some days to get ready than it did her.

"Yeah," Lisanna kept up as she just stood there, staring at him in shock. "Trust in, like, the fact that I won't cheat on you if I go somewhere without you. But to trust me with this-"

"Would you not trust me then, kid?" he asked, glancing over at her from his closet. "With something like this?"

"I don't have anything this big to trust you with!"

"Mmmm…I still think you're more than capable of doin' it."

"Yeah, but Bickslow-"

"Lisanna, if you don't want to-"

"I do," she insisted, nodding her head. "I just… I thought that they weren't alive is all, if they weren't around you?"

"Lissy, they're always alive," he insisted.

"Well, I know, but I meant like how they get when we go to bed at night."

"Dormant?"

"Yeah."

"I can make them go dormant, if I don't want them around, sure," he said with a nod. "And if you're not up for babysittin' 'em tonight, then I guess I'll have to. Boss says that he don't want them around and, well, they won't mind. They just got all pumped about gettin' to spend some time with you, Lissy, and-"

"Of course I want to," she told him again. "I just… How do they act?"

"Huh? You'd think that you'd know them pretty dang well there, Lisanna. I mean, we have been together now for-"

"I meant when you're not around," she said. "Do they not get upset?"

"Hmmm. I don't rightly know."

"What?"

"I never leave them by themselves unless they're dormant, really." He shrugged. "But you'll have fun figurin' it out, huh?"

Slowly, she went to sit down on his bed, listening hard then so she could hear what was going on outside of his closed bedroom door. His lost souls were out there, chasing one another around the living room, chanting and making other babble as they played and sang.

Something told her though that they wouldn't be near as jolly as they were then when they realized that they were left all alone with her.

Not that Lisanna wasn't one of their favorite people in the world. She was. Honest. They liked when she would play hide-and-seek with them or when she'd chase them around the park. And when she spent the night, she'd always let them sleep in bed with her and Bickslow. Lissy was pretty great.

But she was no Papa.

And if she knew anything about her boyfriend's little dolls, it was that they were extremely dependant on the man. He was, after all, the only reason that they were able to continue on as it were. He rescued them. And loved them. It was definitely returned. To the point of insanity, really.

He'd first sprung it on her when she showed up twenty minutes ago that they had had a change of plans for the night. Originally the two of them were going to catch a train to a few towns over and go explore, but Laxus had just arrived back from a job and wanted to have a meeting with all of the Thunder Legion.

Which she was very understanding about. Completely. Laxus was his idol and, well, when the man said jump, Bickslow jumped at every incremented height possible.

Bickslow told her too that he'd tried to get her an invite, but the boss shot that down rather quickly. Because if Lisanna went, then Mira would have to come, and then Elfman and then it was just a big group date, plus Freed, and that was not happening.

In fact, the man didn't even want Mirajane to know he was back in town yet. Then she'd want to go out and he'd get nothing done because there's no way that he can ever tell her no (seriously, he'd tried, it's impossible, it might even be some sort of demonic curse or something) and, honestly, he really wouldn't want to. He'd been gone for three months on some S-Class job and missed the demon greatly. He had to get business out of the way first and if that meant hiding from her for a few hours, then so be it.

"Are there any instructions?" Lisanna asked as Bickslow, finished with his attire, picked up his visor before heading out of the room. "Bicks?"

"Eh?" He was going to the bathroom then, to fix up his Mohawk (which was silly, as it would be hidden when he pulled that hood up, but whatever), but did look back at her. "Lissy?"

"You know," she said as she followed him, standing in the door to the bathroom to watch him style his hair. "Like something that I'm supposed to do with them. Instructions for how to babysit them."

"I don't guess so," he said with a slight shrug as he went to go get his gel and get down to making himself look awesome. It was no easy feat. "Just, uh, keep 'em entertained, huh? And you know, you can do whatever you want while you do that. I got some food in the kitchen."

"You have sweets in the kitchen," she corrected.

"I'm sorry, Lisanna, but do cookies no longer count as food?"

"I don't think they ever really did."

"Meh." Glancing away from the mirror and over at her, he winked. "Just, uh, don't lose any of the babies, huh? And try not to wreck the place."

"Got it."

"Or do wreck the place. What do I care? I'm just rentin'."

'Bickslow."

Snickers. "I got a movie lacrima and, uh, a buncha cool pillows and blankets that you can build a fort oughta if you wanna."

"I think I'll pass. On the last one at least."

"Well, I'll be back in a few hours, alright? Boss is buyin', so I am drinkin'."

"Makes sense."

"I'll bring you something home to eat, huh?"

"I'd appreciate it."

It took him a few minutes to get his Mohawk just so before he was ready to take off. And then came the hard part.

"Alright, babies," he said when he and Lisanna turned to the living room to call them attention. "Listen up! Lissy is gonna stay and play with you guys for a few hours."

"Yay!" They all took to flying around the woman who giggled in response. "Lissy Lissy! Mama."

"Right." Bickslow nodded. "And I'm gonna go out with boss for a bit. To dinner."

"Yay!" They went to him then. "Boss! Dinner! Papa!"

"No, no, babies, you don't get it. You're gonna stay here, yeah?" The seith's tongue fell from his mouth. "With Lissy."

"Yay! Lissy!"

"Right. And I'mma go to dinner with boss."

"Yay! Dinner!"

"No, no, no! You-"

"Bicks?" Lisanna sighed. "You're gonna be late. Just go, huh? I'll keep them company."

"Alright." She could tell he was hesitant as he held out his arms then. "Hug, babies."

And they all slammed into his chest as he wrapped his arms around them.

"Bye Pappa, Poppo, Puppu, Pippi, and Peppe."

"Bye, Lissy!"

"No, babies, I'm the one that said that," Bickslow complained. "Why would I tell you goodbye if she was the one leaving?"

"Just go," his girlfriend sighed. "We'll sort it out after you're gone."

It took him another minute to get out of the door and, at first, when he left, things were kinda just…normal. Lisanna just went to sit down on the couch and the babies went back to floating around, seemingly alright.

The calm before the storm, as it was.

Pappa, who usually loved her the most out of all the dolls, came over to the woman after a few minutes with one question.

"Papa?"

"He went out to dinner."

"Papa?"

"He'll be back later, Pappa. He-"

"Papa?"

"He's at dinner. He'll be back-"

"Papa?" That was from one of the other dolls. Pippi. "Papa!"

"I'm telling you guys-"

"Papa," they all insisted, flying around in a circle then. "Papa! Papa! Papa!"

"Guys-"

"Papa!" They were blurring then as they sped up their tight circle and, honestly, Lisanna was worried that they'd shoot off one of their massive beams or something. Sure, Bickslow had said that she could wreck the place, but she had a feeling that he hadn't really meant it.

"That's enough!" Lisanna didn't mean to, but she yelled at them then, frowning heavily. "You guys need to knock it off. Now. Bickslow isn't coming back for a few hours and I am not dealing with this all night. I mean it, guys."

Slowly, the babies blurred bodies came out of the circle, stopping completely eventually as they took to floating. Lisanna had never yelled at them. Never. They didn't like it.

"Lissy," a few of them whined. 'Lissy."

She only crossed her arms. "I'm the one in charge here. Got it?"

"Got it, Lissy. Got it."

"Well, don't sound so upset about it," she said, dropping her arms as she stared at them. "I mean, guys, I'm not trying to be mean here. I'm just don't want you guys messing things up. That's all."

"Sorry. Sorry, Lissy. Sorry."

They'd never sounded so remorseful towards her before and, with a frown, Lisanna said, "I wasn't being mean, guys. I mean… Just don't misbehave, alright? That's all."

Content then that she wasn't upset with them, the babies flew over to the woman.

"Lissy." They were very apologetic as they came to land on her head and shoulders as well as her palm for Pappa. "Lissy yell."

"I wasn't yelling." She headed over to the couch then, taking a seat. "Let's just have a nice, peaceful few hours, huh? Now what do you wanna do?"

"Hide!" Puppu yelled.

"Seek!" Peppe responded.

"Hide!"

"Seek!"

"Hide!"

"Se-"

"Alright, alright," she sighed. "The couch is base. You ready?"

"Hide!" And, suddenly, all of them took to the air, flying away. "Hide!"

Lisanna only sighed as she moved to press her hands over her eyes. "One."

"Hide, hide." It was more of a whisper then as she heard them bang softly into a few things. "Hide, hide."

"Two."

"Hide, hide."

"Three! Ready or not, here I co- Pappa."

He was just there though, floating in front of her. "Lisanna."

"Well, I found you," she said, reaching out to grab him. "Silly. Do you not understand the game? Huh?"

"Huh?" He seemed more content with her. "Huh?"

"You're so silly." She even brought him up to her face so that she could nuzzle against him. "Pappa."

"Seek," he reminded her. "Lissy."

"Yeah, I know. We gotta find the others, don't we?"

"Seek, seek!"

"You're such a good helper. Do you know that?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Good helper!" Suddenly, Puppu came rushing in from the kitchen area, never one to be left out when someone was throwing down compliments. "Me too! Me too!"

And, well, Pippi couldn't be one upped, could he?

"Lissy! Me too!" he cried as he came flying from the bedroom, Poppo hot on his tail.

"Me! Me, Lissy!" he cried.

And Peppe came up from somewhere behind her to knock her in the back. "Lissy. Helper. Helper!"

"You guys," she giggled as they all circled around her then, demanding almost that she compliment them on their ability to help her out. "You're all really good helpers."

"Yay!"

"But," she said through her laughter. "You seem to have forgotten how to play, haven't you?"

"Hide, hide," they sang. "Seek, seek. Help! Help!"

"Maybe we can try this again, huh?" She gave them all a look, not realizing that it was probably wasted as they were "Alright, now-"

"Lisanna!" Suddenly, there was a banging on the door. "Hey, sis, you in there? We got a problem!"

"Ooh," the babies sang as she rushed over to the front door of Bickslow's apartment. "Ooh."

"Elf," she breathed as she came to fling open the door. "Wha-"

"Your boyfriend's run away with Evergreen and I won't allow it!"

"H-Huh?" Lisanna took a step back. "What are you-"

"She lied to me," the muscular man insisted, "about where she was going. She got all dressed up before she went out though. So I followed her!"

"That's not being a good, trusting boyfriend, Elfman," Lisanna heard from behind him. "Just so you know."

"Mirajane?" the youngest of the siblings asked. "You're here too?"

"Yep!" Mira came to step around their brother. "Elf came to get me to help him through all this. I'm the best person in world at matters of the heart, you know."

"Yeah, I think I've heard that before," Lisanna agreed though under her breath, she added, "from you, at least."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," she said before taking yet another step back. "Uh, do you guys want to come in or-"

"Come in? To this woman stealer's apartment? Never?"

"Then why are you?"

Elfman didn't know. He was just so…so… _livid_. The seith was lucky that he wasn't around right then because it would have taken the entire force of Satan Soul to hold him back.

"Bickslow isn't here then?" Mirajane asked as she came in too, almost sounding disappointed. Elfman though just glared at her.

"I told you that he wouldn't be! He's out with Evergreen and left poor Lisanna here to-"

"He's not out with Ever," the youngest of the siblings complained. "I mean, he is, but-"

"Elf said that he saw her meet up with him and then they went out to a fancy restaurant or something," Mira told their sister. "But-"

"Well, yeah, they met up," Lisanna complained. "They're out with La-" She was able to stop her self. "Um…"

"Huh? What was that?"

"They're out…lamenting."

"Lamenting?" Elfman scratched at his head. "What the hell does that mean?"

Mirajane just stared at her sister. "What are they…lamenting about? Lisanna?"

"Uh…their common struggles in life?"

Elfman blinked. Was she lying to them?

Mirajane only giggled. "What sorta life struggles?"

"Sis, you're not fallin' for this, are you?" their brother groaned. "Honestly, Mira? Surely you're not that foolish."

"Coming from the guy that doesn't know what lamenting is?" Lisanna quipped.

Mira just stuck out her lower lip. "Foolish isn't a nice word, Elfman."

"Sorry, Mira, I was just-"

She sniffled. "It's really mean. I'm not foolish."

"I know, I was just-"

"Foolish," Bickslow's dolls chanted as they circled around Mirajane then. "Foolish."

It took at least five minutes to get Mirajane out of her crying spell from that one and for Lisanna to calm the dolls down. In that time, she couldn't think of one viable excuse for what Bickslow and Evergreen could be doing together, at a nice restaurant, that they would have to be hiding it.

"Maybe," she said as Mira sat on the couch, the dolls circling her as they chanted out their appreciation of the woman to keep her from shedding any more tears, "it's a Thunder Legion thing. And they're just out to eat-"

"Then why are you there?" Elfman asked. "Huh?"

"Because, Elf, in case you haven't noticed, I don't worship the ground Laxus walks on," she said. "I'm not a member, remember?"

"Mmmm. Laxus." Mira hiccupped as she came down off her crying jag. "I just miss him. It's been so long."

"You guys talk, like, literally every night he's gone through the lacrima," Lisanna pointed out. "So-"

"And?" She shook her head. "I love him. I got a message from the town he went to help? A thank you letter. And a bill for the damages."

"Of course."

"He should just be home by now, is all." Mirajane sniffled. "What if he fell asleep on a train or passed out from his motion sickness or was jumped by vandals or broke his leg or needs me or-"

"Wait, what?" Elfman frowned at her. "What kinda man is afraid of jumping candles?"

"Vandals," Lisanna groaned. "And Mirajane, Laxus is fine. Didn't you just talk to him, like, last night?"

"Well, yeah, and he was fine, he said he'd be home soon, but-"

"Then what's the problem, Mira?" her sister asked. "I mean-"

"The problem," Elfman growled, "in case you women are forgetting, is that your boyfriend is out on a date with my girlfriend and I can't take it!"

Sniffling, Mirajane said, "Hey, Elf?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you just go and talk to them? You know, after stalking them all the way to restaurant? Why'd you come get me? And then take me here to get Lisanna? And how did you know that Lisanna would be here?"

"I didn't know she'd be here," he grumbled. "You took me here to find him, remember? To prove that it wasn't him?"

"Yeah, but still," Lisanna kept up. "Why didn't you just confront them when-"

"Oh, I get it." Mira, finally, giggled again. "You were afraid."

"Of what? Bickslow?"

"Men don't get afraid!"

"No, Lisanna," her sister said with a smile. "Ever. Because she'd kill him for stalking her."

"I wasn't stalking her."

"It sounds like you were," Lisanna agreed.

"Even if I was," he growled, "that's no reason for me to be afraid of her."

Mira snickered. "He's scared of Evergreen!"

'No, Mira, I'm not! I just… So what if I am? She's a scary person! She turns people to stone."

"Mmmm." Lisanna nodded slightly with her own grin. "But still, Elf, she and Bickslow are just… I mean, they've had years to be with one another if that was going to happen."

"Maybe they just needed a push," he reasoned.

"And we were the push? I mean, sheesh, that's kinda a low blow," his younger sister complained. "I'd like to think that I was better than Evergreen."

"Well, you'd like to think wrong."

"Right, like you're so much better than Bickslow."

"I'm a man! That alone makes me more-"

"Laxus is manly," Mira said, though she was talking more to Bickslow's dolls as one came to sit in her open palm. "Did you know that? Bobo?"

"That's not even close," Lisanna complained, glancing over there. "That one's Puppu."

"Close?" Elfman snorted. "They're all stupid names."

"Okay, _Elfman_."

"Hey! You know how I got my name and-"

"Laxus," the dolls sang to Mirajane. "Laxus. Boss."

"That's what Bickslow calls him sometimes," the woman agreed. "I just miss him is all. We're very close, me and dragon."

"Dragon! Dragon!"

"Mmmhmm. We talk and snuggle and watch the sunset together-"

"Laxus does that?" Elfman frowned. "Honestly?"

"Oh, we do all sorts of things. Like when he lets me wear his clothes and walk around with a cigar in my mouth and pretend to be him-"

"Okay, Mira," Lisanna told her. "No need to go kinky on us."

Elfman made a face as their older sister only continued to smile at the dolls, thinking no doubt about her boyfriend.

"Laxus is just so…great," she giggled. "He-"

"Laxus!" Peppe called out then. "Dinner!"

What was he-

"Dinner," Poppo agreed, floating around. "Papa."

"Papa dinner," Pappa agreed. "Laxus. Yay! Dinner."

"Uh, guys?" Lisanna tried then. "Maybe-"

"Dinner! Yay! Laxus! Yay! Papa! Yay! Dinner! Yay! Laxus!"

Elfman only blinked. "Something's wrong with your dolls there, Lisanna. I think they're broken."

Mirajane though just frowned, staring hard at them. "Laxus…dinner… And Papa's Bickslow, but he's with Ever…at a fancy restaurant-"

"Alright!" Lisanna groaned, exasperated. "You win. I'll tell you. Laxus came to town and didn't want you to know, Mira, because then you'd want all his time, so he's secretly out with the Thunder Legion, having dinner. There. But don't say you didn't torture me to get it out of me."

Her sister only blinked. "I was only going to say that we should go get something to eat too, but-"

"What?" Elfman growled. "Then it's Laxus that took Ever out?"

"No, silly," Mira said as she got up. "I mean, yes, but he did it as a group thing with the Thunder Legion. Which means… Wait a minute, Laxus lied to me?'

"Oh no," Lisanna groaned. "Please, don't tell Bickslow that I told-"

"Where was this restaurant, Elfman?" Mira complained as she shook the doll in her hand off, moving to place her hands on her hips then. "Because dragon has some serious explaining to do."

* * *

"-all over me," the man was going on as he sat at a table in the crowded restaurant, holding his head high and talking with his normal amount of bravado. "I mean, you know I'm not lookin' for a woman anymore, but they didn't know that. I was ridding their damn village of those bandits, after all. Every night, I swear, one of them was trying to crawl into my bed."

"Wow," Bickslow said.

"I know. I-"

"They set you up with a bed?" He whistled. "Every time I go on a job, if we're given a room, Ever gets the bed. Man, boss, you really-"

"You're missing the point," Laxus grumbled, frowning then. "I'm saying that I coulda had my pick of the litter."

"That's our Laxus," Freed agreed with a nod of his head. "Loyal as ever. You are a true man of your word, to face temptation every day, but battle it off. A warrior of the new age, I believe."

"What's new age about whores trying to sleep with impressive men?" Ever remarked.

"Whores?" Laxus snorted. "I attract a higher quality of women, thank you, Evergreen."

"O-Of course. I only meant-"

"I ain't ever paid for sex. And I don't have to! I never will either." Laxus picked up his drink then from the table. "Anyhow, my last night there, they wanted to throw a banquet in my honor."

"They should have every night that they were graced with your presence, but yes," Freed agreed. "I understand. You saved them, after all."

"See? Freed gets the point of the story."

"Sorry, Laxus."

"Yeah, boss, just getting a whole bed to yourself was…wow. An actual mattress? Not some dingy little mat on the floor or-"

" _Anyways_ ," Laxus went on, glaring at the seith as he continued. "I was at the banquet, eating, and the women, man, they kept trying to dance with me. Shoulda seen how they were dressed. Even the married women wanted- Demon."

"I-I'm sorry," Ever said slowly. "But they wanted what?"

"No," he growled as he glanced around. "I smell the- Oh, shit. Seriously?"

His nose didn't lie. It was Mirajane's scent that he was picking up. He saw her, too, walking through the doors of the restaurant with her two goofy siblings. Great. Just great. Maybe if he stayed down, she'd-

Nope. She was pointing him out to the hostess then who let them pass without problem.

"Dragon."

Oh, no. Ooh, no.

"You were bad."

"M-Mirajane," he said as they came over to the table. "What are you-"

"You lie to me now? Are you going to make a habit of this?"

"What? Me? Lie?"

"Laxus."

"Papa!" Bickslow's babies, who'd accompanied the Strauss trio, rushed over to the man. He was smiling real big at the sight of his woman, at least.

"Lissy! Babies! What are you-"

"Mira found out," Lisanna said simply as Elfman narrowed his eyes at Ever. She just gave him an equally annoyed glare.

"What?" she hissed as Freed buried his head in his hands. Why did they ever try to have a outing without the Strausses? Why? "Elfman?"

"Are you running off with this…bozo?"

"Hey," Laxus growled, glancing away from the demon. "Freed is not a bozo."

"Not him! Bickslow!"

"What?" Ever blushed. "Why-"

"Oh." Laxus went back to Mirajane. "Carry on."

"Hmmm." Bickslow sat up. "Hear that, Lissy? I'm in high demand."

"Yeah, I'm still not paying over the asking price."

"Boo."

"Are you?" Elfman insisted. "Ever? Huh?"

"No!"

"I don't believe-"

"Elfman." She reached up to toy with her glasses and, suddenly, his face lost some of its tension. "Are you arguing with me?"

"Uh-"

"Demon," Laxus was saying about then. "Listen to me. Listen to dragon."

"All ears."

"Sometimes I get…distracted when you're around. You're so intoxicating, you know?"

"Maybe it's the lingering booze odor," Bickslow offered up. "She does work at a bar, you know."

"Bicks, shush."

"And," Laxus went on, shooting the seith a glare, "sometimes, these dummies need me. You know? But they have a hard time getting me when you're around."

"And that's my fault?" Mira crossed her arms. "Laxus?"

"Of course not! It's mine. I just…I love you so much that I can't bare our time together being spent doing anything other than worshipping you."

"He's good." Lisanna said.

"Meh. I could do better," Bickslow grumbled. "You ugly troll."

"Hey!"

"When I said troll, I meant troll of my heart." The seith grinned. "See?"

"That was not good."

"I felt like it was."

"But I was gonna go out and get you a big bouquet, yeah? And surprise you?" Laxus kept up. "When I was done here, I mean. At the guildhall. I thought you were working."

"No. I have the night off."

"Well, then take a seat." Laxus nodded at Freed who rushed to go get her one. "And eat with me. You know I can't finish all this. You want something else? Order away. I got you so many jewels to spend from this job, you know, demon."

Bickslow, deciding it was safe then, went to get Lisanna a chair too. "Boss is payin', remember, Lissy? So order whatever. My treat. Which is being treated by the boss."

"I think I'll just sit on the other side of the table," Elfman said slowly when he saw the look Ever was giving him. "With Freed."

"Good choice."

And even though the table was cramped and Lisanna and Bickslow, true to their word and form, both got sloppy drunk as Evergreen and Elfman traded glares and later kisses as the night came to a close, Freed couldn't complain much. With those two distracted, he kinda had Laxus to himself.

Sort of.

The demon was still there, of course, but she was mostly focused on finishing Laxus' dinner as well as the one he bought her.

"My whole damn steak," the slayer grumbled under his breath when she disappeared off to the bathroom with the other women at one point. "She ate the whole thing."

And, when she returned, Bickslow had one request.

"Oy, boss. Tell Mirajane about your job. And how great you were," he said as Lisanna only giggled, always loving the way that her boyfriend stared at the other man. It was almost childlike, really, and very cute. As if he were in the midst of his hero. And, honestly, he was. "I would like to hear it again.

"I would love it as well," Freed agreed.

"Right." Laxus nodded at Mira who had weaseled him into dessert too because, hell, he'd already blown so many jewels on all their dinners (the demon insisted he pay for her siblings too) that at that point it didn't matter before speaking. "I was fighting this-"

"No, skip that," Bickslow said. "Tell her about the bed! It was so cool, Mirajane. He got the whole bed to himself."

"Mmmm." She giggled as she took a sip from her wine. "How nice."

"Tell her about the hordes of women," Freed insisted. "That you-"

"What? Laxus-"

"Finish your damn sentence, Freed. Quickly!"

"W-Well, I just meant how he turned them all away," the letter mage went on. "Because he's loyal. But still, impressive. The hold he has over women…"

"And Freeds," Bickslow whispered to Lisanna who just batted at him.

"Wow, dragon." Mirajane reached up then to run a finger over his scarred eye, him shutting it as she traced the mark. "You're quite the catch, from what I hear."

"Yeah," he remarked. "And I really like being caught."

"And I liked catching you."

"Is no one going to talk about how Elfman honestly thought that Ever was running around on him with Bickslow?" Lisanna asked about then as she sat with her boyfriend, his babies littering her lap and the already teeming table. "I think that's going to be my new favorite story."

"Oy," Bickslow agreed. "I can feel her undressing me with her eyes right now."

"Well please, Ever," Freed begged, "keep those images to yourself."

The woman only huffed. "Elfman?"

"Yes?" he complained as he sunk down in his seat. He'd already moved to sit next to her, as they'd made up before that bathroom break, but apparently, thanks to Bickslow and Lisanna, that was over.

"You know what this means, right?"

"But Ever, the couch is really small and-"

"You're always welcome to find somewhere else to stay."

"Not it!" Lisanna and Mirajane yelled at the same time.

"Really, Elf, Bickslow's couch is small too," Lisanna kept up. "And-"

"And dragon and I haven't seen each in months," Mira insisted. "Literally. So-"

"And you know I'd let you stay in my apartment," Lisanna went on. Since the siblings had all moved out on their own, Mira with her boyfriend, and Elfman with his…whatever Ever was, she'd gotten her own tiny place as Bickslow wasn't exactly the most stable guy in the world (or the best at paying rent). "But you always bang into things and break them and-"

"And Laxus and I have a guest room, I know," Mira added, "but honestly, do you want to be over when we're…you know."

"I don't know," Bickslow said, just wanting to be insufferable. "What are you guys doin'?"

"Shut up, idiot," Laxus grumbled.

"You know what they're doing," Lisanna said, giggling then as she glanced up at him and forgot about her poor brother's predicament. "Mira's going to put on one of his shirts and his big coat. Probably his headphones too. Then walk around with a cigar and yell at people."

"You mean," he breathed, "she's gonna pretend to be boss?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Wow."

"Then they're gonna screw."

"Makes sense," he agreed. "Who else would be good enough for boss to fuck, but himself?"

"He's just that self-centered."

"And we're done," Laxus said as Mirajane just blushed and Ever tried to keep her dinner down. "Check! Please. Quickly."

"Oy, boss," Bickslow complained. "I was just giving Freed new fantasies."

"New?" the letter mage scoffed. "As if."

"I said _not_ to get weird," Laxus growled. "That was literally the first instruction I had when we got here. And you guys were fine, before my woman and her idiots showed up-"

"I'm not an idiot," Lisanna complained.

"Yeah. Lissy's more silly. That's all."

"Yeah."

"Elfman's an idiot," Ever agreed.

"Please," the man in question begged. "Can we just end this night now?"

Getting to his feet, Laxus reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. "Freed, have them charge this all to me and then give it back to me tomorrow. Tomorrow. Not tonight. Do not stop by me and the demon's place. That goes for all of you."

Mirajane got to her feet, blushing heavily still. Reaching out for her glass of wine, she downed the rest of it, hoping that would make things even more hazy and less…awkward.

Why did they all like to eat out together again?

"That," Laxus grumbled as he led her out of the restaurant, arm over her shoulder, "is not happening again."

"Oh, dragon," she sighed as she leaned against him. "When don't we leave one of these saying that?"

"Why did you tell them about-"

"I didn't mean to. And we don't do that, anyways. It's not…sexual when I-"

"Stop mentioning it."

"And was Freed drunk? Or was he serious about-"

"Please, demon. I want to keep what I actually got to eat of my steak down, please."

"And," she went on, "if I wanted to be you, I could. I would just transform into you and then we would-"

"Do I have to gag you?" Then he frowned. "Or would you tell them about that too?"

Finally, once they were far from the restaurant (they'd had quite the pace to get away), the two S-Class mages stopped and stared at one another before laughing. Then he tossed an arm around her again and they started off for home.

"What would a night be," she conceded as he held her real close.

"With out our idiots," he agreed, still chuckling slightly.

At that moment, their idiots were all heading off in different directions. Elfman was being marched off to a night on the couch by Ever, Freed was going back home to, more than likely, get sober and realize how embarrassed he should have been, joking or not (definitely not), and Bickslow and Lisanna, as always, were doing their own thing.

"You didn't have trouble with 'em, Lissy?" the seith asked as they walked around the deserted park, his babies happily chasing one another. "While you were babysitting?"

"Nope," she said, giggling as they interlocked their fingers, swinging their hands slightly. "Sorry I ruined your night with Laxus. Mira and Elfman were just so-"

"Ruined? That was the best night ever!"

"You always say that."

"Because it's always true," he insisted, glancing down at her. "Every day tops the last and every night tops even that. Always been that way. Least it has since I got with you."

"You're so stupid," she giggled as he just wagged his tongue at her. "You know that?"

"Mmmhmm."

Leaning against him then, she breathed, "Bicks?"

"Hmmm?"

"Let's go home and…"

"Yeah?"

"…build that fort," she said. "I was looking around your place and I think we can top the one from last week if we stop by my house and get some blankets and pillows."

Nodding, he wiggled free of her hand before breaking off into a sprint, her giggling before following.

"Babies!" he slurred, almost tripping over his own feet in their haste. "New plan. Stop at Lissy's, and then build that mega fort we've always dreamed of. And then probably throw up all this alcohol or blackout. I dunno yet, but I'm leaning towards blackout!"

"Yay! Fort!"

Still giggling, Lisanna just kept up behind him the whole way. And, when they got to her place, they just kinda collapsed in the living room floor, neither feeling much up for going anywhere else, the babies taking to landing all around and going dormant after awhile.

"When you think about it," he whispered to her, "an apartment is kinda like a big fort that someone else built for you."

"Mmmm." Nuzzling against his side, she whispered, "Yay. Fort."

"Yay." He pressed a kiss to her head. "Love you."

"Enough to let me dress up like you?"

"Enough to sleep on the couch for you."

"Enough to not run off with Evergreen and have weird babies?"

"Enough to let her undress me with her eyes, but never get a step closer."

"And hold off fantasies of Laxus?"

"Enough to let you watch my babies because I trust you and want to be with you forever."

Smiling, she shut her eyes. "I love you too."

* * *

 **This took a turn…but I think it turned out alright. I have one more Lisanna and Bickslow one-shot that I'm working on and then, swear, I'll get back to A Dragon's Love and Couples Therapy. And finish Mohawks and Manliness. Swear.**


End file.
